Today however i've read several blog posts from individuals who have stood up and spoken openly about their mental illness, like Hannah and Lyzi, and you know what? I don't feel any different towards them, if anything i just admire them even more, for having the courage to bare all and also for fighting the daily battles that they face.
Personally i'm not brave enough to go into all the details yet but i am ready to say that i've battled with anxiety, self harm and depression for more than half my life. They don't make me weaker, if anything they make me stronger, even if it doesn't always feel like it. I completed university despite the daily panic attacks, i force myself to leave the house when all i want to do is hide under the covers and cry, i've sat through endless therapy sessions and doctors appointments when i really didn't want to fight any longer. I'm still here despite the constant battle in my head of whether to carry on any more and i'm not ashamed of that, i'm proud that i haven't given up. It's definitely not easy living with a mental illness but i am lucky to have a family that are trying their very best to help me and one friend in particular who is the most amazing and supportive person in my life. I may still be struggling but things would be a hell of a lot worse if i was going it alone, which is proof that talking and asking for help does make things easier.
So from now on, as much as the thought of publishing this is making my stomach turn, i pledge to talk about my mental illness, because no one should have to hide or feel ashamed of something that they have as little control over as their eye colour. If anyone would like to talk, whether you've been through something similar or just want to promote the time to talk message then feel free to email me or find me on twitter and also if you get the time make sure to take a look at the time to change website....love to you all.